Xiqu Cards

Hearts / What to write

What to say to empty nest parents

When the last child leaves home, parents often feel two things at once: pride, and an ache they didn’t expect. A kind note makes room for both.

The short version

Honor the job they did, say it’s okay to miss them, and point toward what’s ahead without rushing them there.

10 things you can write

Copy one as it is, or change a few words so it sounds like you.

From a friend

  1. You raised someone ready to go. That’s the hardest and proudest part of the job.

  2. Missing them and being proud of them can live in the same heart. Both make sense right now.

  3. The house may be quiet, but look at what all that noise built.

  4. Be gentle with yourself this month. A big chapter just ended.

  5. Dinner soon, just us? No pickups to plan around now.

From the one who left

  1. I’m only ready to go because of everything you did. Thank you.

  2. I’ll call on Sunday. And I’ll probably need to ask how to cook rice.

  3. Home will always be home, because you’re in it.

From one parent to the other

  1. We did it. I’m glad it’s you I get to start the next part with.

A few weeks later

  1. How are you doing with the quiet? I’ve been thinking of you.

Or send a card that says it for you

All New Chapters cards

Free to send by text, or to print. Open a card to send it.

For the parents

New Chapters card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a kraft collage style. It reads: You raised someone ready to go. That’s the hardest and proudest part of the job. New ChaptersNCH-05 New Chapters card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a kraft collage style. It reads: Missing them and being proud of them can live in the same heart. Both feelings make sense right now. New ChaptersNCH-06 Card for parents from Xiqu Cards, with a hand-embroidered illustration. It reads: Watching them grow up is joy and grief at the same time. Both feelings make sense. For ParentsPEP-22 New Chapters card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a kraft collage style. It reads: Goodbye to the house, not to the memories. Every room you loved comes with you. New ChaptersNCH-12

From the grown child

Thank You card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a garden gouache style. It reads: I don’t say it enough: thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I see it more clearly every year. Thank YouTHX-06 Love & Pride card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a warm linocut style. It reads: I’m proud to be your kid. So much of who I am, I learned from you. Love & PrideLUV-06 Thinking of You card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a postcard watercolor style. It reads: Miles apart, but never far from my thoughts. I miss our talks. Call this weekend? Thinking of YouTOY-03 Thinking of You card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a postcard watercolor style. It reads: Just checking in. No reason. No reply needed. I was thinking about you, that’s all. Thinking of YouTOY-02

For the one who’s leaving

New Chapters card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a kraft collage style. It reads: Go find out who you’re becoming. Home will always be here, and so will we. New ChaptersNCH-04 New Chapters card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a kraft collage style. It reads: Your first place! Here’s to learning how to cook. Call home when the smoke alarm goes off. New ChaptersNCH-11 New Chapters card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a kraft collage style. It reads: New places take a while to feel like home. Be patient with yourself. It will get easier. Tell me how you’re settling in. New ChaptersNCH-03 Love & Pride card from Xiqu Cards, illustrated in a warm linocut style. It reads: Watching you grow has been one of the best parts of my life. I’m so proud to be part of your story. Love & PrideLUV-02

What to avoid

  • “You must be loving the freedom!”

    Maybe they are, maybe not yet. Let them tell you how it feels.

  • “Now you can finally…”

    Travel plans and a new hobby can wait. Rushing them past the sad part makes it lonelier.

  • “They’ll be back before you know it.”

    It may be true, but it skips over how they feel today.

  • Calling it a “syndrome”

    Missing your kids is a normal part of a big change, not something wrong with you.

A few tips

Timing
Send something in the first week, and again a few weeks later, when the quiet really sets in.
Not only college
Kids leave for university, work, training, travel or another country. The words work for all of them.
Parents on their own
For a single parent, the house can feel even emptier. A specific offer of company helps: a walk, a meal, a call on Sunday.
If the low feeling stays
Sometimes it lingers for a while. Low Tide has cards for low seasons, and a note on where to find help.

Questions people ask

When should I send an empty nest card?

In the first week after the move, and again a few weeks later. The first holiday or birthday apart is another good time.

What should I write to my parents when I move out?

Thank them for one specific thing, and tell them when you’ll call. “I’m only ready to go because of everything you did” says a lot in one line.

Is it okay to send a text instead of a card?

Yes. A text today is better than a perfect card next month. You can send any of the cards here by text.